Realization

I just realized that at this time, a year ago on this day (the Friday before Memorial Day), I was flying into New York to visit. My friend picked me up from LGA and we went into the city to meet up with some friends and watch the Orlando Magic in their last game in the NBA Eastern Conference Finals. I distinctly remember telling both of my friends moving to New York was still a few years off.

Upon returning to Florida, my relationship with my boyfriend of three and half years came to an end. I still had high hopes for my work situation and that is what was keeping me in Florida. By the end of the year, that had changed and my timeline for New York sped up considerably.

It is often not until New Year’s Eve or our birthday that we reflect so I was a little caught off guard by the realization of how much has changed in a year. I suppose we always think that in hindsight, but I think it is rare to say you left a long term relationship, a long term employment situation, and made a long distance move all within a year. In a few more days I will no longer be able to say that.

How To Move (Across The Country) And Not Lose Your Mind*: Part IV: Securing A Place

The most important thing I can say to you when looking for a new place is to not settle for something just because you are tired of looking. There is something out there for you, it just might not be the most convenient path to find it.

Before you move, you need to make sure you can afford it. I am someone who has budgeted for years, even when I was making enough money that I wasn’t living paycheck to paycheck. It is a good practice to look at where your money is going even if you have more than you need. You might surprise yourself at how much you spend on things. Before I moved, I talked to a few friends that lived in places a similar size to what I would be looking for and used their utility bills as a guide for a projected budget. I then looked up the increase in cost of living and applied that to other areas of my budget like food and entertainment. I have been using Mint.com for years (I have heard Yodlee.com is also good) so I have a realistic view of what I spend on each of those each month. Finally, I created a spreadsheet that adds up each part of my budget – including healthcare, retirement savings, and personal savings – and gives me a total income before after taxes. Because I am so nice, here is a link to my Budget spreadsheet. You will need to adjust the state taxes cell (B52) if you are moving anywhere other than New York. This spreadsheet will allow you to easily verify if you can afford that place that is $50 more a month and doesn’t include heat and hot water, which is great when you are trying to make a decision quickly.

Before you start to look at places, do yourself a favor and make yourself a list of things that are important to you and basic questions you should ask when viewing a place. Trust me, when standing in a place with someone who is trying to sell you on it, it is easy to forget those things. Be sure to include things like if will there be enough room for the display case for you 80s collection of troll keychains (since you didn’t sell them at the yard sale like I told you to) and enough outlets to handle all of the electronics in your entertainment center. Everyone’s needs are a little different and only you know what is important to you. If you’d like to get an idea of the types of things were on my list or are just too lazy to make your own, you can view my New Home Checklist here. You can print out enough lists for each place you are viewing or just one and take notes. Either way, you need to keep all your lists and notes in that notebook!

Now you are almost ready to look at the first place. Set up your appointments, but before you head out grab some supplies:

• Your Notebook & a Pen
• Your Checklist
• Your Camera or Camera Phone
• A Tape Measure
• A Flashlight

As you are looking at each place, refer to your checklist and take notes as you walk around. Open and close all cabinets and doors. Shine your flashlight in cabinets and closets to inspect for rodent droppings and bugs. Stand quietly and listen to the building – can you hear people walking around, talking, their TV? Look out the window and note what you see – are you going to be looking at garbage everyday? I am not saying any of these things are dealbreakers. However, like I said before, only you know what is important to you and what you can live with. Also, when you are making a decision on which place to take, little things like that weird cooking smell you smelled in the hallway may help you make a decision. Use your tape measure to measure areas you want to use for specific things (like that troll display case). Note any damages that you will want to be taken care of before you move in. Don’t be afraid to discuss reduced cost, additional includes, or minor changes to the place. It doesn’t hurt to ask and sometimes you will be surprised with what the property owner/manager is willing to do to get a good tenant in their place. I had one property manager offer to knock down a wall in a place. The same person also offered to put in french doors in another place. Before you leave, be sure to make a rough sketch of the apartment in your notebook or on the back of the checklist. You will be surprised what you forget after looking at a few places. The goal here is to put down as much information as possible for future reference.

Don’t be discouraged if you don’t find the perfect place. I am pretty sure even if you built it yourself, something would end up off. My parents built the house we lived in when I was a kid and within months of moving in there were already things they had wished they had done differently. Don’t settle for something you know you aren’t going to be happy in, though, and don’t let your broker talk you into something. It may mean changing your move-in plan slightly and it might make things less convenient, but it will be worth it. I stayed in a hotel in Jersey (with my cats) for three days and drove into Brooklyn every day to look until I found something. I am really happy that I did otherwise I would have ended up with a place that I wasn’t happy with.

Securing a new home a thousand miles away does present a unique set of obstacles, especially if you aren’t completely familiar with areas. Do a lot of research online, utilize your friends and contacts that live in the area (your broker should be a great source of information and if they are not, find someone else), and stay positive. The most important thing to keeping your sanity during a move is to stay organized and plan well. If you can do that and try to keep a positive attitude, you will be fine!

Don’t Stop Believin’

Like most people I know, I had grand plans for my life when I was young. When I was really little, I remember wanting to be model. Unaware of the fact that my interesting looks were not necessarily “modelesque” interesting, I pursued this dream in my own mind for much of my adolescence.

Me, Age 5. Luckily, my face ended up growing into my hair for the most part and I learned that the right stylist can change your life. 

As a matter of fact, while we are on the topic, I would like to blame the majority of my fashion choices growing up on my ambition to be America’s Next Top (Mall) Model.

That’s me on the left with the popped collar and vest that looks like it was made from Mary Poppins’ carpet bag.

Anywho, my life plan evolved as my interests did and I found myself wanting to be at different points in my life: a rock guitarist, a cosmetologist, a lawyer, a professional dancer, a vet, and for a brief moment in time – a cartographer. I finally settled on wanting to be a designer.

For most of my 20’s, I spent life being a “free spirit” and by the time I started rolling up to 30, I realized I didn’t have much to show for myself aside from an impressive number of concert ticket stubs and some great stories that started with “This one night we were all drinking…” I was determined to make the best effort I could to change my life and make some of those plans I had lost a reality. I started pushing myself and forward momentum started to build. I became very pleased with the way my life was taking shape – I had a nifty title at work, brought home a good paycheck, lived with my boyfriend in a three bedroom house with a pool, and I was starting to save for our first home.

In early 2010, things started to unravel. I had this amazing life, but I wasn’t happy. I continually tried to make things work, but it wasn’t happening. What’s worse is that I couldn’t even see that I was spinning my wheels. It was my boyfriend at the time that brought it to my attention. That is when I made one of the biggest and best decisions of my life. With the help of some great mentors, I took some time to work on me. What I started to realize was that I had spent so much time trying to affect the world around me that I had lost myself. I took a look at everything in my life and evaluated. I removed things from my life that were no longer sources of joy and replaced them with things I truly enjoyed. It wasn’t easy or always obvious and some things took longer than others to remove or replace especially bad habits. The thought of confronting some of the situations in my life was very intimidating. The more I built my own happiness, though, the more confidence I gained and the easier it became. Suddenly things that seemed completely out of reach, seemed very possible. I started making plans that were bigger than I had ever before.

I am not writing all of this to pat myself on the back or let people know how awesome I am. (I mean, honestly, if you couldn’t tell that by the photos above I am not sure what would convince you.) I am writing this because I know for a fact there are people out there in a similar place as I was – settling for mediocre happiness or maybe even complete misery. Not even content with their life and doing absolutely nothing to change it.

Well, I am here to tell ya – it’s bullshit. I mean, it’s your party and you can cry if you want to, but at my party I want to have an awesome time. You have a choice in how your life goes. Even if you don’t have control over a situation, you have control over the way you react to it. Take a look at your life. What makes you unhappy? Why is it still a part of your life?! Unless it is actively sustaining your body functioning, it is unnecessary. What would make you happy? Why aren’t you doing it? LAME. Make a plan. Make it happen. Sure, you need to be reasonable. Regardless of what your parents told you, you can’t be ANYTHING you want. You are probably not going to be an astronaut or President of the United States or a pterodactyl. You can, however, get a better job, make a career change, go back to school, leave that jerk boyfriend (or girlfriend), stop being friends with that person that you have known forever and are only friends with because you have known them for so long, move across the country (or the world for that matter), or whatever it is you want to do. The only thing that is stopping you is you. I know, I know. I sound like the CliffsNotes to every self-help book you have ever read. There is truth to it, though, and you can make it happen. You are good enough, you are a smart enough, and gosh darn it, people like you!

Do yourself a favor, start small. Rome wasn’t built in a day, right? Do one thing this weekend you have wanted to do, but have put off. (Unless it is wearing a speedo in public. Please, don’t do that.) Next week, integrate a small change that you intend to make permanent or take a step in that direction. Allow yourself to screw up – it is going to happen – and then get back up and get back to it. Don’t give up. Honestly, no one else is going to care if you do. You should, though, because no one is going to make your dreams come true for you. YOU have to push yourself to make it happen. YOU have to keep your dreams alive. As you are often reminded at karaoke, don’t stop believin’! Hold on to the feel-eel-ee-an! Street lights… Okay, maybe just the first two lines there. You get what I am saying, though. Keep me updated, too. Heck, start a blog and update the whole dang world!

Things I’ve Learned In New York So Far III

Third installment. Hopefully you know the drill by now.

1. Finding a good apartment can be difficult but is not impossible. My experience will be different next time as I will be local so I am sure that will make it easier. I should also have more time to look and be more knowledgeable about the areas. My best advice to anyone wanting to move to New York is to be patient and be flexible. I found out my first apartment had bed bugs and passed on it then had to work with a broker from a thousand miles away. I finally ended up driving up without a place and staying in a hotel in Jersey with my two cats and driving into NY every day to look. I found a great place within two days of looking. Be specific with your broker, be realistic about your needs and wants, and go with your gut. I signed the lease and got the keys to my apartment within an hour of seeing it. I’ve been here for almost two weeks and I haven’t regretted the decision once and it has felt like home since the second night.
2. Shopping for furniture can be problematic but is not impossible. I packed a good deal of furniture but opted not to move my heavy ass a truck bookcase. I knew that this would mean a trip to Ikea to buy something to house my books. Luckily, I have a good friend with a car who agreed to schlep me over there and help me carry stuff back up to my third floor walk-up. It was all good except for the carrying huge boxes up three flights (a total of 6 landings) of stairs. Ikea does have a delivery service as does many of the places in and around the city, though. If I need to purchase any large furniture in the future, I will be looking into having it delivered.
3. The stores are different here. In Manhattan I can find a lot of the big name stores I am accustomed to, however, as far as groceries, pharmacy and even hardware stores goes I am a little lost. I am still learning who carries what and for most of last week was really frustrated by it. Deliveries have helped to get me what I need right away while I am learning. Even in terms of the big name stores like, Target, they don’t care all of the same stuff as they do down in Florida. I have yet to find a place that sells light switch covers or if they do, the one I need (single switch with two outlets).
4. Delivery service is your friend – that is as long as you are going to be home to get your packages. I have had several things delivered already ranging from groceries to pet care supplies. You can get most anything you need delivered including your laundry (pickup is available, too!). Once I start working I will need to make other arrangements for UPS deliveries because I can’t schedule a delivery window for those but for services l can. I would really like to get in the habit of venturing out on the weekend to some of the great GreenMarkets they have here to pick up local produce, baked goods, and meats. If I end up working in the city I can grab things and bring them back home after work easily, too.
5. MTA will f*** your day (or night) up. Weekend and late night service, switching trains onto different lines, station construction, delays, and very poor communication will leave you wanting to stab someone in the face. The two stations I was frequenting when I first got here are both under construction on the Manhattan bound platform so I have to truck my ass an extra quarter mile to a station I don’t like and catch a train I like even less until they fix the other two stations. There is no information as to when the construction will be done. You can’t even find the construction on their site. Add to this the fact that they do not have their own commuting app and I now have FIVE apps that I use for commuting – all of which give me different information.

I feel the need to add that different does not necessarily equal bad in my book. I am still treating this as an adventure and everything right now is a learning experience. I feel like I am adapting quickly, though, and I can’t wait to find a job and get into a good routine!

How To Move (Across The Country) And Not Lose Your Mind*: Part III: Repairing, Selling & Donating

If you haven’t checked out Part I and Part II, you should do so now. This is a step-by-step guide for moving. Welcome to Part III: Repairing, Selling and Donating.

The most important thing about this stage is to be realistic about how much you can get for your stuff. You also need to be realistic about how much time you want to spend selling things. Sure, you think you have amazing stuff and anyone should fall all over themselves for it but in reality that may not be the case. Giving things a good cleaning and repairing any wear-and-tear will help but you really need to be honest with yourself about how much your stuff will fetch and prioritize. If you can only get $20 for something, it probably isn’t worth the hassle so just donate it. I know you probably won’t take my advice on that, but you will remember it when you are standing in a parking lot with an oversized cabinet you just lifted in and out of your trunk by yourself and the Craigslist buyer that asked to meet you early never shows up and doesn’t answer your calls. (This was followed by me realizing the cabinet had broken my car’s trunk latch and I couldn’t pop my trunk to load the cabinet back up and had to leave it by a dumpster at Boston Market. I later locked myself out of my house as I went out to fix the trunk latch and had to call my friends to drive over and rescue me with their screaming newborn in tow. All of this because I wanted to sell a $20 cabinet. Totally not worth the hassle in the end.)

Anywho, once you have decided what you are going to sell take GOOD photos of it and post it on Craigslist with lots of details. Be as specific as possible. I found links to the items new online and add them to my postings. I also listed out specs for any electronics which helped to cut down on the amount of questions. If you really want it to move add “MOVING – MUST GO!” to your posts. Reduce the price on things that don’t get responses and add “REDUCED PRICE!” to the title and your stuff should start to move. Do not have Craigslist post your email address. Be sure to check the box for having them mask your email. Also, do not post cell phone number in the listing unless you want to have creepers calling you at all times of the night. If you want to post a number, get a free Google Voice number and have it forward to your phone. Do be prepared for poorly worded emails, what you will consider to be stupid questions, and immediate requests for your address. Do not give anyone your address and always meet in a public place. Be sure to let someone know where you are meeting, the time, and check-in with them afterward. If you absolutely must have someone come to the house to pick something up, I recommend having two of your large male friends come hangout and keep whatever they are coming to pick up out front so they don’t have to come into your home.

Continue to sell things up until the day of your yard sale. I listed things the week of so that I could schedule people to pick up things at the house the day of the sale. This could help you sell more of your stuff, too, as usually they will hang out and take a look at what you have.

A few days before the yard sale, start posting about it on Craigslist and anywhere else you find appropriate. Don’t forget about your social networks. If you are someone who has a lot of strangers on your Facebook, don’t post your address but let them know to message you for the location. You are also going to want to post a sign in your yard a few days early to let everyone know they can come gawk at your stuff in a few days. Make sure to check with the city as to their regulations for putting up signs and to see if you need a permit. My city required me to buy a $3 permit and I was only allowed to post a sign in my yard. (To get around the lack of signage, I ended up setting a bookcase by the road covered in poster board and large lettering. They weren’t specific about the size of the sign so I took full advantage.) You will need some supplies the day of the sale including change (I carried mine in a super stylish fanny pack), a few tools in case someone wants to break down a piece of furniture for transport, a tape measure, electrical cords plugged into outlets so you can demo your electronics, and some snacks and beverages to keep you going.

The day of the yard sale have some friends come over to keep you company. If they are really nice they will help you move everything into the yard. Be prepared to meet all kinds of people and don’t be offended when they want to give you $5 for your beloved collection of 1980’s-era troll keychains. Take what you can get because when you are loading up all that crap to donate you are going wish you had taken their crappy offer if for no other reason than you are tired of moving this crap from room to room. After the yard sale, load everything up and haul it off to the donation center. Get it gone. I know you won’t do that, but again, you will remember my advice when you are making another few trips to the donation center days later and wishing you had done it all in one trip.

Depending on how you order the stages of your move, your next stage may be Securing An Apartment, Final Packing and Visiting, or Moving Day. Whatever it is, you can rest well knowing that one of the major milestones in your move is complete!

How To Move (Across The Country) And Not Lose Your Mind*: Part IV: Securing A Place

How To Move (Across The Country) And Not Lose Your Mind*: Part II: Sorting & Packing

The first stage of my move was sorting and packing my stuff. If at this point you haven’t settled on how you are transporting your stuff, it is a good idea to get that out of the way now. Do research on using movers, moving pods/cubes, renting a moving truck, and shipping things. Take lots of notes in that notebook. If you don’t know what I am talking about, read Part I.

I used UPack‘s ReloCubes and found them to be very cost effective, convenient, and their customer service is wonderful. They were cheaper than driving a truck up myself after I figured the cost of gas. Most moving trucks get 8-10 mpg, by the way. They also allowed for me to store my stuff for a few days when things didn’t go exactly to plan. (UPack Tip: For $150 I could schedule them to drop off my ReloCubes during a 1 hour window which allowed me to schedule movers.) Be sure to check into off-peak moving times as you can get some good discounts there. If you go with a moving truck, call your car insurance company and see what kind of coverage you need from the moving truck company as you may be able to save money by not purchasing all of their coverages. If you don’t know your exact move-in date yet, hold off on hiring movers at your destination. That is something you can do within a few days most of the time. If you would rather be safe than sorry, call a few and ask how much notice they would need specific to your arrival window. Don’t forget to use that notebook!

Now that you know how you are moving your stuff, you should know how much space you have available. Designate two areas of your home for storing things – one for stuff going with you and one for stuff you are going to get rid of. I used my office and spare room. I also taped off an area in the spare room that represented the size of my ReloCube so I knew how much room I would have. If you don’t have two rooms, use opposite sides of the same room. Just make sure you have a way to separate what you are packing to move and what you are packing to sell.

Get together a good amount of boxes, packing materials, sharpies, tape (packing and scotch), scissors, a razor knife, etc. You are also going to want to get out your toolbox. Set all of these in a staging area together. For boxes, I found posting on Facebook was a great way to inherit boxes. I also found the pet store dumpster to be a good source. Most of the big stores break down and bundle their boxes now so those didn’t help as much. Lastly, I picked up specialty boxes at UHaul which, according to my research, had the best prices on boxes. Their prices beat online sites because I wasn’t buying in bulk but if you are, you may want to check online. For packing materials, I used a lot of stuff that I already had. I had been collecting packing materials from packages that had been shipped to me over the past few months. I stopped using my green bags for about a month and collecting plastic bags. Instead of recycling my junk mail and magazines, I held on to them for a few months then shredded them to make packing filler.

Once you have together all of your supplies and have designated areas for packing materials and storage of keeps and purge, you are ready to start sorting packing. Tackle the rooms in order of least use. For me, it was my spare room. This worked out well because it was going to be one of my storage rooms. Next was my office as I was unemployed at the time and not using it and again, it was my other storage room. As you go through each room, pack up what you are moving with you and set things that you are selling in a box or bag in your purging room. Notice I said put the stuff you are going to sell in a box or bag? You are going to appreciate having things organized into categories and it is going to make transport to the yard sale or donation center much easier when the time comes.

Do not pack anything that could be grouped more logically with other things. For example, photos and knick knacks unless specific to a room should be packed together and not in room specific boxes. This will help you prioritize what to take and when you are setting up your new place. You may think that ceramic bird collection is totally under control until you get it all in the same area and ready to pack. You may decide that some of them may not end up joining you in your new nest.

As you pack and tape your boxes, be sure to label and number then. You will create a list in your notebook with box label and number and contents. Take the time to do this and you are helping your future self’s sanity. As much as you think you will remember which box that one thing is in once you get to the new place, you won’t.

Once you have done this for every room in your house and any outdoor storage, you are ready for the next stage which is Repairing, Selling & Donating. Note: Be sure to leave out anything you are going to need until your move date. Also, do not pack anything that is broken. Set it aside for the next stage.

How To Move (Across The Country) And Not Lose Your Mind*: Part III: Repairing, Selling & Donating

How To Move (Across The Country) And Not Lose Your Mind*: Part I

First of all, if you are planning a long distance move – good for you! Welcome to an elite club of people who can say they threw away thousands of dollars in furniture, knick knacks, clothes, and other crap and then paid thousands of dollars to move the rest of it. To those of you who moved long distance in college with your parents assistance – you don’t count. Until you have accumulated at least an apartment’s worth of stuff and had to make all the moving arrangements yourself including finding your new place from over a thousand miles away you are not part of the club. Sorry. If you are not moving long distance, most of this will still apply just on a smaller scale.

According to where you are in your move, your mindset is going to be one of the following: Totally excited and motivated; a little overwhelmed but pushing through; stressed and a little weary; about to cry; determined and a little pissed; stressed and exhausted; relieved but overwhelmed. You may be experiencing a mix of several at a time or you may teeter between a few at any given moment. Don’t worry, that is normal. Just know that IT WILL BE OKAY. You will find a decent place, all your stuff will get there and most of it will be okay, you won’t miss the stuff you get rid of or that arrives broken, and once it is all over none of it will seem as bad as it does right now.

Now that I have spent two paragraphs rambling on, let’s dive in. Are you ready for the first secret to your sanity during a move? A notebook. Yep, a small book with blank or ruled pages for writing notes in. Buy yourself a good notebook, one with at least one pocket in it for holding paperwork. (If you want to get really crazy, buy one that has sections for subjects so you can categorize your lists and thoughts.) This notebook is going to act as your back-up brain because as you get into the move your actual brain will start getting overwhelmed and may start shorting out.

The next secret to your sanity is to have a good plan. The plan is going in your notebook. I made my plan to have stages. I did my move in 5 weeks so I had 5 stages: St-St-St-Stages. (If you have more time, great. If you have a full-time job you are definitely going to need more time, by the way. I was unemployed during my move so I had all of the usable hours in a day to focus on it.) If you don’t use stages, at least write out a loose schedule of major events so you can effectively manage your time. Time starts to move pretty quickly when you are busy so you want to make sure you aren’t falling behind schedule before you go have margaritas on Friday night to left off some steam.

As you are going through the move, be sure to take notes in the notebook and place important documents in it. As you call about movers, write down each contact and be sure to include the name, phone number, name of the person you spoke with and any pertinent notes. Even if you don’t think you will use them, write it down. You never know what is going to happen and you may find yourself wanting to refer to the information a week later when your brain is filled with other stuff and can’t recall things exactly. Also, as things pop into your head like, “I have to pick up Sparky’s medicine tomorrow” write them down in the book. Later that evening as you are writing your to-do list for the next day you may not remember about Sparky’s medicine and he may die which is just what you need right now. (Just kidding. No animals were injured during my move) Each evening as you are winding down, flip through you notebook and make a list for the next day. Make your list like you are Drew Barrymore in 50 First Dates – like you are going to wake up not remembering the day before. Your brain is holding a lot of information right now so it is easy for something to slip through the cracks. Even if you don’t end up needing the reminder, it only takes a second and it is better to be safe than sorry.

In case you haven’t caught on yet, EVERYTHING goes in your notebook. All of your research notes, contacts, moving lists, random thoughts, etc. Since this thing is your back-up brain, be sure to put it in a safe place and be consistent about always returning it to that spot. The last thing you need is to lose the one thing that is keeping you organized and sane. Also, the notebook does not get packed. It is going with you on the plane, train or in the automobile that is getting you to your new location and will find a new safe place in the new home while you are unpacking. Trust me, once you get to moving you day you are really going to need that back-up brain. I don’t care how together you think you are!

I will have more tips on each of my moving stages over the next couple of days including tips for packing, selling your stuff, traveling cross-country with two cats and how to inspect your hotel room so you don’t bring home unwanted house guests (bed bugs!). I hope that my experiences and advice will help others moves go more smoothly. This may have been my longest distance move to date, but I also feel like it was my most organized and that is what kept me sane.

*I make no guarantees or assurances that following my advice will ensure your sanity. All statements made are my opinion and have not been proven to be effective for others. This post is not intended to imply that the reader is sane – given they have read this far I am guessing not – or that their sanity is stable enough to endure the tortures of a long distance move.

How To Move (Across The Country) And Not Lose Your Mind*: Part II: Sorting & Packing

You ARE Home

Last I left off in the apartment search story I had headed back home to Florida having found a place but ended up finding out the building had bed bugs and passing on it. Here is the rest of the story.

I had ten days before I was to leave for New York and twelve days at most before I had to leave my place in Florida. I was nervous about finding a place from a thousand miles away but I didn’t really have a choice. I was still in the process of purging and packing my stuff and flights were ridiculously expensive. Luckily, one of my girlfriends agreed to take a look at some apartments for me and my broker agreed to work with her.

It was a long week and weekend with no apartment viewings. Finally, on Monday, my broker took my friend to look at a few places. She loved one of them and I told him to move on it. The waiting game had begun. The landlord called me to touch base and I felt like I had the apartment. Then the bad news – they don’t take pets. Some back and forth with the broker left me with the choice of be honest and lose the place or lie and have to hide my cats. I opted to be honest and we were back to the drawing board. At this point, I was a day away from my deadline to leave Florida. I was busy wrapping up loose ends and getting ready for a three day drive with two cats. The evening before I left my broker sent me some video of a place. Neighborhood – check. Apartment size – check. Price – check. It was a go. The waiting game had begun yet again and I was hitting the road the next morning.

The road provided a good distraction from the stress of the waiting game. By the time I got into the hotel that night I was exhausted and ready for good news. Unfortunately, my approval luck had run out. I was passed over for another applicant and the options for apartments were looking bleak. My broker suggested a neighborhood I wasn’t familiar with – Sunset Park – and after some online research I was sold. He lined up two apartment viewing for the next morning and I went to bed optimistic.

I wouldn’t recommend trying to find an apartment while on the road, by the way. Trying to coordinate the broker and my friend, get and give feedback, etc, were all more difficult while traveling. I could go into detail about what happened that day but I won’t bore you. Suffice it to say, neither of the Sunset Park apartments were a go. At this point, my feeling of defeat was turning into determination and I refused to settle. I was a day out of New York and would look myself if I had to. My broker didn’t seem as motivated and after a somewhat heated conversation, I decided I would look at some things on my own going the Craigslist route. I also emailed another broker about an apartment I had seen when I came up a few weeks before that I was keeping as a back-up option. It wasn’t finished when I was there and I wanted to see it to make sure it was ready before signing anything. We scheduled a viewing for 11am Monday.

Sunday I got into Jersey and dropped the cats off at a motel before heading into Brooklyn to look at a few places I found on Craigslist. None of them were going to work. It was looking like the back-up apartment was my only hope. I headed back to the motel in Jersey to get some rest. That night turned into a whole mess of an ordeal with a change of hotel to something 45 minutes away and me not getting to bed until after 3am. I ended up not seeing the back-up apartment until 1pm. It wasn’t finished and wouldn’t be ready for a few days but they told me that I could move-in and they would finish the work while I was there. I didn’t really care for the apartment, the location, or the price for that matter, but I was out of options. Reluctantly, I headed to the office to fill out an application.

At the office they seemed concerned about getting me approved which was a little alarming. Not only was I settling, but I might need my father to step in as a guarantor. I wasn’t happy. I also wasn’t about to give up. The broker I had been working with had texted that morning about looking at places. I decided to give him one more chance. What did I have to lose? It was going to be a while before I heard back about the back-up and since I hadn’t put a deposit down on it, I could always walk away if he found me something better. I had a rental car so we could fit in quite a few apartments, too. I picked him up and we headed to Sunset Park to look at what he described as a really great one bedroom.

We parked the car in Brooklyn Chinatown which is located in Sunset Park. Walking up to a small metal door with a wood wreath, we were greeted by a small asian woman who seemed happy to meet us. The apartment was beautiful. I couldn’t believe it! There was a thing or two that I wasn’t 100% on but everything else outweighed it. I had found my place. Then she told me that she had another place I could see on the third floor. I walked in and was overwhelmed. It was the same apartment but with all new appliances and hard wood floors. There was even a window flower box in the kitchen window. How soon could we sign, though? This is when a few bombs were dropped. I could have the keys now, but the rent was $50 more a month than I had been told AND did not include heat or hot water which would could add up to $200 or more to my monthly expenses in the winter. I took a deep breath, looked at my broker, and said let’s go sign a lease. An hour and a half and several grand later, I had the keys to my first New York apartment in my hands. I headed back to the apartment to unload the car then headed back to Jersey to sleep before heading back to Brooklyn in the morning a new New Yorker (Futurama reference intentional).

In Regards To New York

Through this transition I have heard all kinds of negative comments about New York. A few days ago I made a Facebook status update saying, “I think I am the only person in my building that takes the time to make sure the building door doesn’t slam, doesn’t stomp up the stairs and doesn’t talk on my phone loudly in the hall. I don’t plan on losing my considerate nature and hope it doesn’t slip away without me noticing.” and had some negative replies about New York posted by friends. After defending New York for several months during my move and having a friend from New York be offended by the comments, I felt the need to speak my mind. I originally wrote this on Facebook and posted it there but felt it would be an appropriate addition to my blog.

In Regards To New York

First of all, if you have never been here or have not been for an extended period of time you do NOT have an accurate perception of New York. If you have only been to places like Times Square (which I hate btw bc of all the asshole tourists) then you do not have an accurate perception of New York. If you grew up here 20 years ago and moved away – you do not have a CURRENT perception of New York. Additionally, based on what area you frequented and when you did, you may not have the same perception of New York as someone else.

NOT ALL NEW YORKERS ARE ASSHOLES. Some of my very best friends are NYers and a couple of them are native. They are some of the kindest, most considerate, and supportive friends I have ever had. All of them would give me the shirt off their back without question if I needed it. The first Friday I was in NY, two of my friends rode a train into the city for 45 minutes to see me and my sister. One of them had to be up at 7am the next day for a long road trip. They wanted me to have a good first weekend in New York and for my sister and her friend to have a good time, also.

As far as NYers being inconsiderate, they can be. So can Floridians. I have lived in buildings MUCH louder down there with neighbors that did things much more rude than slamming a door or two. You can’t tell me that you don’t walk – or drive for that matter – around in Florida and think to yourself at least once a day “what an asshole” or “what an idiot.” Florida is filled with them. (If you don’t think that, you might be one of them) New Yorkers do tend to be less concerned about what others think and for that reason are very confident and can seem emotionless, and self-involved. Commuters especially can seem unaware. However, many of the NYers I have encountered are very kind and caring. While crossing a street in Greenwich Village last weekend, a lady fell and AT LEAST six people rushed to help her up. Everyone crossing at least stopped until she was up and okay.

In regards to my original post about people being loud in the halls, my point was that I am adapting to the lifestyle here and hope that I keep some of the characteristics about myself that I really like. I am what some would consider an (overly) considerate, generous and nice person. I am not in anyway trying to imply that people here are not. It is debatable as to whether holding the door so it closes slowly and doesn’t slam or walking softly on the stairs is inconsiderate or not. Sometimes it is unavoidable and I have no idea what these people are carrying when they come home.

With all of that said, I will say this: STOP BASHING ON NY. I am a New Yorker now and don’t intend to let anyone talk about the great place I have CHOSEN to live in. Out of respect for me and my friends that live here, I would really appreciate it if you keeping your negative comments about our home to yourself. Here is some food for thought: if NYers bought into misconceptions about Floridians they would assume all of y’all are uneducated, inbred, gun-toting swamp people or in retirement. “Have you ever been to Florida? It’s basically a criminal population. It’s America’s Australia.”

Next time you are in New York and would like to see New York the way I do, let me know and I will take you around. Like everything else in life, it is what you make of it.

Mystery Explained: Why I Moved to New York

No matter whether it is family, a friend, or someone I just met, everyone I tell that I just moved to New York (or told I was moving before it happened) wants to know why. You would think saying that you want to would be enough but for most people but that seemed to be a let down to most. So, here are a couple reasons why I moved to New York.

1. I’ve wanted to since I was in high school. Much better than just wanting to, right? There is some history there and now you feel like this isn’t some decision on a whim. It is true, I have dreamed of living the New York life since I had Jersey bangs and wore L.A. Gear. I wanted to move to New York and design for a music magazine. The dream was to live alone, go to awesome rock shows, and maybe eventually have a long term boyfriend that may or may not have moved in with me. No kids, no marriage, no mortgage – just art and music and fabulous nights on the town.
2. Circumstances allowed. I kept waiting for someone to want to go with me. As many people do in their early to mid 20’s I made plans with several friends to move up after long nights of drinking and watching the sun come up while sitting on the roof or on the beach. Like most of the plans made during those times, they were lost within a few months. There was one boyfriend that I thought might actually go but for the most part none of my boyfriends wanted to move to New York. By the time I got into my last relationship, I had given up on the dream both because he had no interest in living in New York and I had found a job that I didn’t want to leave. After we broke up, I thought about New York but the job kept me from really planning anything. When the job started losing it’s luster last fall, I started considering it. An awesome vacation with friends from New York in December tipped the scales and by the time New Year’s rolled around, I couldn’t wait to get out of Florida.
3. I could afford to do it on my own. Once I lost my job, the plan was to get a job in New York then move up. Being a thousand miles away doesn’t lend itself to easy interviewing, though. I got a few bites but nothing solid. I was also looking in Florida but the job market was bleek. I think I applied to a total of three jobs in Florida. After a few months of being unemployed I had to make the decision whether I was going to move into something smaller in Florida or move to New York without a job. I looked for apartments in Florida that were month-to-month or even short term leases and found nothing. I decided it was time to go all-in with the New York plan.
4. I refuse to give up. Anyone who has been following me on Facebook or has talked to me through the transition knows how crazy it has been. Going from a three bedroom house to a one bedroom apartment is no easy task. Throw on top of that selling your car (and being jerked around for a month), traveling to New York to find an apartment in the middle of packing, having to look for an apartment from Florida when the apartment you found falls through, staying in hotels in Jersey with two cats so you can drive into New York every day to find something because looking from Florida was unsuccessful, and you have a recipe for someone to a) lose their mind b) go running back to Florida crying. Anyone who knows me knows I don’t back down from a challenge so the more that got thrown at me, the more determined I was to make it work.
5. I WANT TO. I know a lot of my Floridian friends think I am crazy for wanting to live here. I know a lot of people think New York is filled with assholes and rodents and the entire place smells like garbage. I am not denying that there is some truth to some of what people think. It just isn’t as bad as people make it out to be and the good – to me – outweighs the bad. I reserve the right to change my mind after living here for awhile but so far, it has been great. Sure there is some adapting to be done but that is to be expected. When I think about the 30 minute subway ride I am going to have to take to pick up a new litter box (then haul it back on the subway with me) I just remind myself that afterwards I can take 30 minute subway ride and treat myself to ice cream in Central Park or a show on Broadway. I can take a ferry from Ikea to Manhattan for $5 then eat lunch in Battery Park while looking at the Statue of Liberty. I live in the greatest city in the world and that to me is worth the couple months of cold, smell of garbage on a summer day, and the occasional asshole.

There you have it. I didn’t move for a job or a guy or because I was running away from my life. I don’t have some crazy dream of being an actress or musician or a Rockette. I am fully aware that New York can be dangerous, dirty, and may at times seem to want to eat me alive. None of that matters because I didn’t move here (or not move here for that matter) for any of those reasons – I moved here because I wanted to and I think that is the best reason anyone could have.