Here I go again

I suppose it is time to fire up the blog again so I have somewhere to dump my thoughts other than Facebook. So much to dump already, not sure where to start.

A couple of months ago I decided to quit training for my 50k that I would have run yesterday had I stuck out the training. I don’t regret the choice at all, but do wish that I had been able to run the race. Finding a way to balance everything the past couple of months has been a real challenge. I want to spend as much time as possible with friends and my trainer and fit in appointments with all my healthcare providers before I go. I also took a trip to the UK for 8 days, had colleagues in town for a week which necessitated many in-office meetings (I typically work from home) and evening outings, and a workshop in the city which killed two days entirely. I haven’t had a “normal” routine day in over 4 weeks and it isn’t likely to happen before I move.

Somehow amongst all of this I neglected to realize that this weekend would be the last full weekend I had to get stuff done before the move. I have a trip to Washington next week to try to find a place to live (within 3 days!) and it will eat up a work/vacation day and weekend day with travel. The following weekends both have weddings and my going away party and in a moment of extreme optimism a couple weeks ago I signed up for the Brooklyn Half which there is no way I am going to be able to run. I still have to schedule movers, vet appointments for the cat, a hair appointment for myself, have a couple more doctor appointments, and at some point I am going to need pack this apartment up. But all I really want to do is spend time with the people I am going to miss so much when I leave. I am so excited to start this new chapter, but at the same time I kinda wish I had a little more time here.

I have been fitting in a fair amount of time with friends and at spots that I love. And I am so happy that I have gotten to the point of feeling positive feelings about this place again because for awhile there I was just so frustrated with everything about this city and wanted to be gone already. Now I feel like I am already nostalgic for my NYC life and I haven’t even left the city yet. It’s a really weird feeling and one I don’t think I felt before leaving Florida. I didn’t really write down a lot of the emotions I was feeling during that move other than excitement so I’m not sure to what level I felt sad or worried or whatever else. I can say right now I feel excited, scared, and a little curious. I moved to this place that I had wanted to live all my life, lived here for 7 years, and am now ready to move on. I think. I don’t think I will know if I was ready until long after the move is over. So excited for the next chapter, a little scared because it is a big change, and a little curious as to how I am going to feel about it once I am settled into my new life.

Yesterday I drove out to Long Island to a dealership to get my Jeep serviced before the big drive across the country and while out there I decided to swing by a few places to pick up some things while I had the convenience of no traffic and actual parking lots. I ended up at Target to pick up some things and ended up just wandering the store. It’s been a long time since I have been able to go to a store with so much selection and just browse. Much of the time was spent on aisles without other people that were wide enough for multiple carts. That does NOT happen in the city! And being able to try on clothes and shoes then buy batteries, light bulbs, and super glue (and order and eat a pizza had I wanted it) all in the same place was kind of amazing. As I drove from the parking lot I thought to myself that I can’t wait to appreciate all of these little comforts that I took for granted before I moved to NYC. I really hope I find a house because driving by the Home Depot garden section made my heart yearn for my weekend mornings at HD.

Today I spent the day doing what I am going to call “pre-packing” which really just meant that I moved some stuff around to get better organized in the apartment for packing. I also pulled a lot of things from under the bed and in the closet and got them sorted to the right zones that I had created — packed and ready to load, donations, needs careful packing (and possibly culling) later, waiting to be matched up with other like items and packed. It is definitely a bigger challenge getting organized and packed up in such a small space than it was when I had a house that I could dedicate entire rooms. And it does make me a little nervous that I have limited space to take stuff with me. I had planned to get rid of almost everything, but then decided it would be dumb not to fill the pod if I was already going to be paying for it. I’m hoping that the packing of the pod goes smoothly and it is “Tetris-ed” well.

I think that is it for now. Lots swirling around the brain and this probably could have been like 4 different posts with a lot more detail. I’m hoping to blog enough to be able to look back on this in the future and appreciate it without writing so much that it takes up considerable time. I almost want to set my countdown timer to hours, but that would probably just stress me out. 25 days to go.

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