Like most people I know, I had grand plans for my life when I was young. When I was really little, I remember wanting to be model. Unaware of the fact that my interesting looks were not necessarily “modelesque” interesting, I pursued this dream in my own mind for much of my adolescence.
Me, Age 5. Luckily, my face ended up growing into my hair for the most part and I learned that the right stylist can change your life.
As a matter of fact, while we are on the topic, I would like to blame the majority of my fashion choices growing up on my ambition to be America’s Next Top (Mall) Model.
That’s me on the left with the popped collar and vest that looks like it was made from Mary Poppins’ carpet bag.
Anywho, my life plan evolved as my interests did and I found myself wanting to be at different points in my life: a rock guitarist, a cosmetologist, a lawyer, a professional dancer, a vet, and for a brief moment in time – a cartographer. I finally settled on wanting to be a designer.
For most of my 20’s, I spent life being a “free spirit” and by the time I started rolling up to 30, I realized I didn’t have much to show for myself aside from an impressive number of concert ticket stubs and some great stories that started with “This one night we were all drinking…” I was determined to make the best effort I could to change my life and make some of those plans I had lost a reality. I started pushing myself and forward momentum started to build. I became very pleased with the way my life was taking shape – I had a nifty title at work, brought home a good paycheck, lived with my boyfriend in a three bedroom house with a pool, and I was starting to save for our first home.
In early 2010, things started to unravel. I had this amazing life, but I wasn’t happy. I continually tried to make things work, but it wasn’t happening. What’s worse is that I couldn’t even see that I was spinning my wheels. It was my boyfriend at the time that brought it to my attention. That is when I made one of the biggest and best decisions of my life. With the help of some great mentors, I took some time to work on me. What I started to realize was that I had spent so much time trying to affect the world around me that I had lost myself. I took a look at everything in my life and evaluated. I removed things from my life that were no longer sources of joy and replaced them with things I truly enjoyed. It wasn’t easy or always obvious and some things took longer than others to remove or replace especially bad habits. The thought of confronting some of the situations in my life was very intimidating. The more I built my own happiness, though, the more confidence I gained and the easier it became. Suddenly things that seemed completely out of reach, seemed very possible. I started making plans that were bigger than I had ever before.
I am not writing all of this to pat myself on the back or let people know how awesome I am. (I mean, honestly, if you couldn’t tell that by the photos above I am not sure what would convince you.) I am writing this because I know for a fact there are people out there in a similar place as I was – settling for mediocre happiness or maybe even complete misery. Not even content with their life and doing absolutely nothing to change it.
Well, I am here to tell ya – it’s bullshit. I mean, it’s your party and you can cry if you want to, but at my party I want to have an awesome time. You have a choice in how your life goes. Even if you don’t have control over a situation, you have control over the way you react to it. Take a look at your life. What makes you unhappy? Why is it still a part of your life?! Unless it is actively sustaining your body functioning, it is unnecessary. What would make you happy? Why aren’t you doing it? LAME. Make a plan. Make it happen. Sure, you need to be reasonable. Regardless of what your parents told you, you can’t be ANYTHING you want. You are probably not going to be an astronaut or President of the United States or a pterodactyl. You can, however, get a better job, make a career change, go back to school, leave that jerk boyfriend (or girlfriend), stop being friends with that person that you have known forever and are only friends with because you have known them for so long, move across the country (or the world for that matter), or whatever it is you want to do. The only thing that is stopping you is you. I know, I know. I sound like the CliffsNotes to every self-help book you have ever read. There is truth to it, though, and you can make it happen. You are good enough, you are a smart enough, and gosh darn it, people like you!
Do yourself a favor, start small. Rome wasn’t built in a day, right? Do one thing this weekend you have wanted to do, but have put off. (Unless it is wearing a speedo in public. Please, don’t do that.) Next week, integrate a small change that you intend to make permanent or take a step in that direction. Allow yourself to screw up – it is going to happen – and then get back up and get back to it. Don’t give up. Honestly, no one else is going to care if you do. You should, though, because no one is going to make your dreams come true for you. YOU have to push yourself to make it happen. YOU have to keep your dreams alive. As you are often reminded at karaoke, don’t stop believin’! Hold on to the feel-eel-ee-an! Street lights… Okay, maybe just the first two lines there. You get what I am saying, though. Keep me updated, too. Heck, start a blog and update the whole dang world!
bkbc 